Group Hug

I may be struggling with a bipolar spectral disorder, and I don’t want to get help. At the moment my highs and lows are even, and alternate quickly.
My father is bipolar I just hope I do not have a strong genetic predisposition for it. He takes a LOT of medication for a variety of things.
I don’t want to have to resort to chemicals like that. I hate the thought of artificially changing serotonin levels and all that shit. It seems so unnatural, but heck, I’m not resorting to eating a bunch of herbs either.
All I’ve been able to say lately is “I don’t know.” It’s getting ridiculous. I can’t even make simple decisions or answer simple questions anymore.
I don’t know what I need.
I don’t know.