My Life is Average

I have a cat. She fetches bottle caps like a dog if you ignore her and only communicates in chirps that sound like pigeon coos. She will also stand on her back legs like a kangaroo to look out windows, sleep on the arm rests of my couch in a very slothlike manner and will punch you in the face if you do something she doesn't like. I don't think I own a cat, but a shapeshifter. HerLIA