http://www.fthis.org Feed for: My Drunk Txts She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream happy fathers day you DILF! at the top of her lungs http://www.fthis.org/story/214185 The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt. http://www.fthis.org/story/214184 Be still, my beating vagina. http://www.fthis.org/story/214183 I believe some people would call last night an orgy. http://www.fthis.org/story/214182 I mean... It's a winwin situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both http://www.fthis.org/story/214181 In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going... http://www.fthis.org/story/214180 I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity. http://www.fthis.org/story/214179 she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as bathroom blowjob http://www.fthis.org/story/214178 Ultimate walk of shame, had to walk 3 houses down and across the street in nothin but a towel while the neighbors family was outside staring http://www.fthis.org/story/214177 Everyone was so shocked to hear that she was a virgin they were speechless. I said I could cure that problem for her and we hooked up. It was that simple. http://www.fthis.org/story/214176 Dude last night was epic shit. Like bigger than anything we ever did. People lost articles of clothing in the club http://www.fthis.org/story/214175 I've got double d's that are calling you're name ; 1917 Well put a shirt over them, the game is on http://www.fthis.org/story/214174 Would it be weird of I asked him if he was circumcised 1254 No... I just asked my boyfriend if I could give him head after we just had a horrible emotional discussion http://www.fthis.org/story/214173 What do you require baby 949 Lots of lube 949 Fuck i meant Love 949 Or both http://www.fthis.org/story/214172 This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun. http://www.fthis.org/story/212194