http://www.fthis.org Feed for: Fuck My Life Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261337 Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261336 Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261334 Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just as friends. The tickets are nonrefundable. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261333 Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261330 Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World Of Warcraft party. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261329 Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, and I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261325 Today, I received my new carseat covers. I wrote my car off yesterday. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261324 Today, my dad put in wall plugins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261321 Today, after spending nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter my igloo and take a shit. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261320 Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parent's. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261319 Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261313 Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261312 Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as Hello I am Jan, I'm here to help you take a shit. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261311 Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between a two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML http://www.fthis.org/story/261302