My Drunk Txts
- Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last yea...
- Seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party
- I'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir i'm lean...
- Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this
- Do you think transformers take it up the exhaust pipe 1805 Dude when yur drunk you need to stop thin...
Makes Me Think
- Today, I found myself thinking about how happy I was with my life right now. 3 years ago I was depre...
- Today, it's been exactly four years since you left me to be with her. I thought you had permanently ...
- Today, I found out that I was born because my moms exboyfriend raped her. MMT
- Today, for the first time in seventeen years I felt confident enough not to put makeup over my birth...
- Today, I was sitting in the hospitals hallway outside my moms room waiting for her to recover from h...
Gives Me Hope
- In November, my cousin got diagnosed with terminal cancer. As soon as he could, he went made sure ...
- At the end of the school year our grade had a dance. A special needs boy went up and asked a bunch ...
- Today is my birthday. I woke up at 8 AM to a phone call from my daughter wishing me happy birthday....
- A couple of days ago, at the restaurant I work at, an American solider came in with his wife to eat....
- There was an elderly couple walking the beach next to me. They were holding hands up until when th...
Fuck My Life
- Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town...
- Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid 20 dollars t...
- Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car....
- Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to...
- Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, f...
My Life is Average
- Today, I took my driving school final exam. A group of the multiple choice answers spelled out "...
- Today, I got highfived by a total stranger. Why Because I was wearing my MLIA shirt. MLIA
- Today, I realized that here in the states, we are eventually going to have a president who used to p...
- A while ago, I met a guy from Scotland. He was wearing a kilt, so, knowing the "underwear myth&...
- Today at my job as a cashier, a lady customer was being really mean to me. When it came time to giv...
Group Hug
- When I was 11 me and my best friend dry humped but befor that at school she would take me in to the ...
- Every time I got near you that weekend, I could feel a steady hummm in my chest like a small motor r...
- Oh my god! Did you see that That Tonberry just started swinging his lamp around and this stuff came ...
- I saw an old classmate on a festival last week. I think she had the hots for me back then. She was t...
- I know you’re driving all night please be safe. Come home soon. When will you be here
